Sledge Hammer To The Face

When statistics fail…

I am sure that Dr. King is happy to see that breakfast has come so far.  Don’t forget the coupon though.

“When officers arrived, they ound sewage and what looked like vomit on the ground.  Nearby they found a man curled up ill next to a car.”

HAHAHAHA!

 A man who tried to siphon gas from a motor home got a mouthful of sewage instead, Seattle police said.
…

via 

A MAN accidentally killed himself by putting a condom over his head in a bizarre sex stunt.

An inquest head Gary Ashbrook, 31, was found suffocated naked on his bed wearing the inflated rubber - beside empty cans of laughing gas.

I wonder if this advice columnist is a total drunk or just lazy?

When I got home I found him dressed up in my lingerie and make up…. lol… why don’t you check the fuel line?

Is this a joke?  Are people in the UK just racist?  Why would they run a story like this from the US like it is the headlining story if they weren’t?

(Click to see full sized image)

via

Chicken meal deal gets killer to admit his guilt 

GUN killer Tremayne Durham gave up his right to trial - for a bucket of fried chicken.

Before he sucks in his gut… and after he sucks in his gut. And he is doing a pretty shitty job of it as well

Irony?

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His balls were covered in rubbing alcohol…. hahaha!  I guess this is why you aren’t supposed to eat for 24 hours before surgery!

A patient broke wind while having surgery and set fire to his genitals.  The 30-year-old man was having a mole removed from his bottom with an electric knife when his attack of flatulence was ignited by a spark.  His genitals, which were soaked in surgical spirits, caught fire.  The man, who is suing the hospital, said: “When I woke up, my penis and scrotum were burning like hell.  Besides the pain, I can’t have sex with my wife.”  Surgeons at the hospital in Kjellerups said: “It was an unfortunate accident.”

When being pulled out of a ditch, do not drive immediately back into the ditch.

I wish it was my job to write stupid shit like that for the newspaper.