Sledge Hammer To The Face

 Penises don’t cause brain damage.  People do.

I guess this does prove that asian men have small penises.  I’m not sure that any one else in the world would look at that bench and think that the holes in it would be about the right size to have sex with.

Xing, a 41 year-old man, was calling from LanTian park in the middle of the night. The lonely and disturbed man had apparently thought it would be fun to have sex with one of the steel sit-up benches around the park.

The bench has numerous small holes in it, which Xing used to attempt to satisfy himself. However, once he became aroused he found that he was stuck and could not get his penis out of the small hole.

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A kid tried to burn his penis off because he is an idiot and the hospital blames the movie producers? Really?

Who the hell wrote this article? Milly the British twit? Who the hell would ever use the word “pecker” when reporting the news?

A TEENAGER who tried to copy a scene from the hit film American Pie by shagging an apple pie was rushed to the hospital with serious burns to his penis.

Dwight Emburger, 17, couldn’t wait for the tasty pastry to cool down and after he slid in his pecker he was badly scalded by the hot filling.

A hospital spokesman in Boise, Idaho, said: “This demonstrates that producers should consider the effects their films have on young impressionable people.”